This is a post in the weekly Autism Hopes series by Lisa Quinones-Fontanez, a mom who blogs over at Atypical Familia.
Over the weekend I attended an Art for Autism Fundraiser and I got to meet Nell Escalante for the very first time. Nell is an art/museum educator, DIY fashion redesigner, blogger and an autism mom. Both of Nell’s sons – ages 11 and 7 – have autism and are “on opposite ends of the spectrum.” Nell’s older son is “high-functioning practically Aspergers” while her younger son is “non-verbal, super active [and has] sensory issues.”
Nell and I have been on line friends for a few years and I wanted to support her as well as the other local Bronx artists. She donated three of her designs (see above) to the fundraiser. Nell’s “If They’re Gonna Stare” collection was inspired by her younger son. “I get a lot of stares when I’m with [him]…so I figure, if they’re going to stare might as well make it worth their while and look good,” she said.
But Nell didn’t always combine fashion with personal experience. When she initially set up her Etsy shop and blog back in 2008, she admitted to being “overwhelmed with autism talk and needed a space to be just Nellie.” While she never hid her sons autism, Nell knew she didn’t want autism to be “at the forefront of [her] blog.” Among her friends, Nell was known as “the Autism Mom” and felt like she was losing her identity.
“I wanted [my] blog and my shop to give me a voice. The voice of a woman, an activist, a lover of fashion, a creative being, a designer, a mom. But not an autism mom.”
After a few years, Nell realized that her journey was important and that being an autism mom was as much of her identity as everything else. It was through art and pursuing her own passions that Nell was able to come to this awakening. And now she encourages other mothers to continuing doing what they love to do because it will be thing that gets you through.
“When I went back to art…I became a better mom, a happier mom. Art saved my life. You don’t have to be a martyr to be a good mom. Autism is transformational, if you let it, it can make you better, not bitter.”
From my other blog: